Why I am a bro:

There are some people in this world that cringe at the culture of backwards beer-themed baseball caps, lax practice jerseys, pastel colored shorts, and a penchant for drinking natty light.

There are some people in this world that would just say, “Bro… chill.”

I have made a conscious choice to be one of those people, even though I consider myself an intellectually-inclined bro. For those people that question this choice, this is what I have to say.

I am a bro…

…because I could cock block you with one ball tied behind my sack, but I don’t – even if you’re talking to a girl that is much hotter than the girl I’m talking to – because I will always make sure my bros get some. Also, the young woman (if you can even call her that) that I screwed last night makes your current girl look like Barbara Walters.

…because it gives me an excuse to drink extremely cheap booze and feel okay with it, because “it’s just a phase”.

…because being a bro affords me a lot of blow job opportunities – but never from a fellow bro – ‘cause bro, we’re obviously straight.

…because instead of like, saying like every other word or so, like yeah, I can substitute bro and everyone understands.

…because why would I ever want to be a chick?

With my tongue in my cheek and my corona hat backwards,

Categories: Broriginals

Why Bro Icing is Chill

July 20, 2010 Leave a comment
If you are visiting this site, you no doubt know what Bro Icing is. If you don’t leave this site and go find out. I wont even dignify your ignorance with a link. I have heard many bros talking about how unchill icing is because of how unchill it is to drink Smirnoff Ice. But bros, here is the thing: Smirnoff Ice is delicious.
Say what you want, but you can’t deny that they are tasty. Girly? Yes. Tasty? Hell yes. Which is why Bro Icing is so chill! For the first time, there is an instance where it is socially acceptable to drink Smirnoff Ice. What’s more, it is actually cool. To whatever bro decided to make it cool to drink Smirnoff Ice when forced to at a party, I proudly take a knee and salute you.
Categories: Broriginals, Drinking